Football Soccer Goals

Blackpool have signed Liverpool and England Under-21 midfielder Jonjo Shelvey on loan until the end of the year.

Old foes Everton and Liverpool will lock horns once more at Goodison Park on Saturday in the 216th Merseyside derby.

Tea and Crumpets has always been a fan of taking the opportunity to talk to opposing fans in an effort to learn a little bit about their strange, quaint ways. To perhaps build a bridge, find a common ground, or if all else fails simply indulge in some good food while snickering at them from behind our hand. Everton, though, is a different kettle of fish entirely; an opponent we know all too well. Still, there are always new facts to learn and new tidbits to uncover. And so, fighting off the flashbacks triggered by proffered packets of toffee, we sat down with Brian of Royal Blue Mersey to see what was left for us to discover about Liverpool’s inaugural rival…

Last season I heard that during the previous season there might have been three buyers interested in purchasing Everton from Bill Kenwright, only nothing much happened and the club headed into the transfer window with a budget of three balls of leftover pink yarn and a brochure from the temperance league. What are the chances anything’s going to change by next summer, perhaps even to the point of the club having access to actual cash money with which to purchase goods, services, and an improved playing staff? And if nothing happens as it seems to every summer for Everton these days, will the supporters look to divert all proceeds from the sale of collectable afros outside the stadium to Marouane Fellaini in an attempt to stop him following Artetta to London?

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Until Kenwright has cleared out his office no Everton fan is going to believe there is a new owner. With an aging stadium and just enough debt to be inconvenient, most potential owners are going to walk right past Everton to other clubs up for sale. After Kenwright’s comments about begging the banks from calling in their loans, plus using next seasons EPL television money to secure a loan to pay off some of our other loans, it looks like things are going to go one of two ways. First way is the dreaded administration, and it isn’t out of the realm of possibility, especially with a poor season. The second way is a fire sale next summer, which seems to be pretty likely. Tim Cahill, Leighton Baines, Phil Jagielka, Marouane Fellaini, and Jack Rodwell would all be prime candidates to be sold. The positive part of a sale is that even just a few of these guys should be enough to pay down the debt, which is always something. As for collectable afros, we’re selling them for 5 pounds a piece, and they come in random colors including red, black, blue, brown, and gold.

Did Jack Rodwell come good yet, or is he still on the books at Everton?

Rodwell seems to have finally settled in although the season is still young. He tends to play best when deployed as a defensive midfielder, which allows Fellaini to venture forward a little more. Although many pundits bemoaned Everton’s chances for success with Mikel Arteta’s sale to Arsenal, his departure has arguably resulted in an improved Everton midfield. Arteta and Fellaini often played similar roles, and Fellaini rarely shined when Arteta was his partner. With Rodwell focusing on a defensive role, Fellaini is free to attack and create. If Rodwell keeps this up, Ferguson is going to be lodging that 20 million pound bid any summer now.

If the club is in such bad shape financially, why do they keep releasing such hideous shirts? After the horrible, burning pink monstrosities it seemed as though there was nowhere to go but up—if only because it appeared impossible for things to get any worse. But then along came this season’s army surplus goalkeeper kit that looks more suited to Moscow, Idaho and a fourth tier American college football team on homecoming than the Premier League. I suppose there’s always room for bragging rights if Tim Howard has the most worn football shirt amongst Tamil Tigers, but they probably aren’t wearing official club merchandise anyhow so it’s still hard to see how it would help the bottom line.

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Well according to Bill Kenwright, Everton lost money on merchandise until they signed a deal with Kitbag a few years ago. I’m not really sure how you lose money selling merchandise, but that tells you everything you need to know about the club. As for the kit design, that’s what happens when you have some random french company designing your kit. I mean seriously, who has ever heard of Le Coq Sportif unless they’re Everton fans? Maybe it explains why we retreat and bunker down during games.

Blue rare; black and blue; still mooring. Regional variations in nomenclature aside, a steak seared while the inside’s left completely raw. Sometimes, before searing, the steak will be placed in an oven at an extremely low temperature to warm it throughout without cooking the meat, in which case it can take longer to prepare than a well done steak. Though many would blanch at eating what is in essence a chunk of raw red meat, in reality it’s an entirely safe practice as in all but the most unsanitary conditions the bacteria that commonly lives on uncooked beef exists within one millimetre of the surface, and so as long as that millimetre is heated to the point where the bacteria is killed the meat becomes safe to eat. Conversely, many who would be uncertain when faced with a blue rare steak might ask for a less than fully cooked burger in order to avoid facing down a dried-out patty. They would, however, be running a far greater health risk in doing so, as even in generally sanitary conditions there will be bacteria living on beef, and though one only needs to heat to a fully cooked temperature meat that’s near the surface, once ground every millimetre is within one millimetre of the surface—and once the bacteria’s in that deep, it can take an awfully long time to get rid of it.

In any case, David Moyes has by most accounts done a fantastic job getting Everton to punch above their weight since stepping in to save the club from a string of ineffective managers, but with each passing year he seems to be given less to work with, and it’s hard to imagine that on the club’s current trajectory there won’t come a day when he’s either unable to grind even decent results out of what’s been left to him or when he will simply tire of waiting for investment that never materialises. How much patience for the situation do the fans really think he has left? And would even significant investment from new owners be enough to overcome the years of financial neglect and mismanagement permeating the club at this point?

There is no doubt Moyes is frustrated with the lack of transfer funds, but his track record when spending money isn’t exactly good. Yakubu and Bilyaletdinov are two of his most expensive purchases, and neither is exactly setting the EPL on fire. Andy Johnson is also another expensive signing that didn’t live up to the hype. That said I think Moyes stays at Everton until Sir Alex Ferguson decides he’s opened up a big enough lead on Liverpool in league titles, so there isn’t a whole lot to worry about. In reality the fact that Moyes wasn’t even tempted to leave for Aston Villa, a club that had a similar level of success over the past few years but infinitely more money, says everything you need to know about Moyes. He’s here until he can secure an infinitely better job.

Speaking of Moyes, is he still experimenting with playing Cahil, Fellaini, Baines, and any other non-striker he can get his hands on as a lone striker? Or does Liverpool have to worry about facing an actual proper centre forward this time around?

Strikers are extremely overrated and the 4-6-0 formation is the way to go in the EPL. But in reality Moyes has enjoyed deploying Tim Cahill up top with limited success. Also Greek youngster Apostolos Vellios has been impressive in limited action so far and there’s speculation he may get the start this weekend. Louis Saha is also fit, and you guys still like to play old slow guys in defense right?

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We have been known to occasionally play a centre half with a walker, yes. Which reminds me: In my younger days, my grandmother would often give me toffee. It was always old, brittle, and not especially pleasant, and it seemed as though I would spend the following week picking little chunks out of my teeth—but I was a child, it was candy, and in any case it’s never much helped me figure out why anyone connected to Everton thought going with “The Toffees” as their primary nickname made sense. Did Everton founder George Mahon pay the players in toffee when they didn’t have the money for rent and had to move out of Anfield in the early years? Was Goodison constructed on the site of a nineteenth-century sweets shop against the wishes of the shopkeeper, who can still be seen late at night haunting the stadium, trying to finish one last batch before being evicted? Is there something about the anti-septic, faintly sickly smell of thirty-seven types of cleaning solution smothering a faecal base as one would find in a long-term care facility that turns Evertonians on?

Well, way back before your grandmother was even a thought in her parents’ mind, there existed a toffee shop named Mother Noblett’s that sold the Everton Mint right across the street from the lock up that exists in Everton’s quest. This is why the Toffee Lady walks around the pitch throwing Everton Mints into the crowd before each match. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t want free candy. There was also the Ye Anciente Everton Toffee House near the hotel where Everton used to hold committee meetings, but that tale doesn’t sound as exciting so forget about it.

Really, no ghosts and curses? No grand, continent-spanning adventures? Far be it for me to give advice to Everton, but somebody at the club might want to come up with a more captivating tale—maybe even one that could make them a couple of quid. In any case, once again we have to give a round of thanks to Brian of Royal Blue Mersey for taking the time to give us a bit of insight ahead of Saturday’s match. And let’s all hope that Moyes sticks around at their club for a long, long time.

After watching Liverpool largely dominate their recent NextGen series games without being able to convert their chances, about the only difference at the start of the fifth group stage match against Molde on Thursday night at Anfield was that it was Molde who came out looking the more dangerous side. However, Liverpool soon settled, and then things quickly returned to what has become an at times frustrating status quo.

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Liverpool would signal their intent inside ten minutes, with Ryan McLaughlin bombing down the flank from his position at right back and carrying the ball into the box at speed. A strong challenge by the Molde defender would have him claiming a penalty that in real time looked underserved, though on replay it did seem that Liverpool may have been hard done by. It shouldn’t have mattered, though, as strong performances all over the pitch saw Liverpool maintaining almost constant possession and winning it back immediately any time they conceded.

Soon after the penalty claim, Liverpool would get their second golden opportunity of the match when Suso curled a corner towards the edge of the six-yard box where Michael Ngoo was waiting. Ngoo met it firmly, sending in a shot that the keeper could only push towards the post—but it was still going in. Molde, however, had a defender on the line, and the chance was scrambled away.

Then Tony Silva made one of the mazy runs that leave people crossing their fingers and toes, hoping that he can develop the more well rounded game he’ll need to make the step up to the next level, as he cut inside and onto his left foot from the wing and fired a bullet towards the bottom corner from the edge of the area. It rifled off the base of the post, the keeper clearly beaten, but when it came back to Silva all he could manage with his second effort was a rather more tame side-footed effort that was easily stopped.

Stretches of the sort of quick passing everybody expects to see from this group of Liverpool prospects, given all the talent on hand and that they’ve been coached for a few years now by former Barcelona academy maestro Rodolfo Borrell, ensued. In particular, lesser known names like left back Brad Smith and midfielder Craig Roddan continued to impress, doing their best to remind more casual viewers that it’s more than just Raheem Sterling and Conor Coady at the youth and reserve level.

When they were done passing it around, though, having done their best to tire a Molde side that barely saw the ball for long passages, it was right back to wasting one golden opportunity after another: Sterling beat two defenders in the box and curled it just over the bar, then Suso worked a short free kick to Sterling on the left only for his drilled cross to strike an unprepared Ngoo in the shin and skip off into the Anfield Road end. And then it was halftime, and though Liverpool should have been up by a comfortable two or three goals to nil they once again found themselves in a precarious position after showing an at times shocking lack of finish.

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In the second half, Adam Morgan would come on for Suso in an attempt to fix Liverpool’s biggest problem, as even if Morgan doesn’t seem the club’s most gifted prospect, he certainly has one talent that’s been lacking at all levels of late: The ability to put the ball in the back of the net. Despite that, the pattern would remain the same in the early going, with Ngoo hitting the crossbar, Morgan’s point-blank shot blocked out of bounds, and a Coady curler well saved.

Then, finally, Morgan was sent clear on 67 minutes, and after a day of frustrating profligacy it was the coolest of finishes that broke the deadlock as Morgan passed the ball past the keeper and into the net. With Liverpool needing all three points to keep their hopes of advancement anything more than mathematically alive, it was a goal that Liverpool desperately needed—and a goal that had started to seem as though it was never going to come, no matter how many chances the home side crafted against an overmatched opponent.

Then, within minutes, normal service was resumed when Morgan sent an inch-perfect cross to Michael Ngoo in acres of space. He was central, ten feet out from goal, and the keeper was out of position. And he sent his cushioned header a good ten feet wide of the gaping goal.

Against Wolfsburg or Sporting, Liverpool would have been punished for their wastefulness—against both Wolfsburg and Sporting they were punished. Molde, though, didn’t have the players to hurt Liverpool, and in the end even all the wasted chances wouldn’t seem quite so bad when Adam Morgan and Tony Silva both scored in the game’s closing minutes to put a sheen on the scoreline that seemed a better better match for a largely dominating display.

However, whether it’s enough to see Liverpool on to the knockout rounds in January is a different matter, as Molde and Wolfsburg both have two games left in the group while runaway leaders Sporting have three remaining. As a result, Liverpool’s position remains precarious despite having seven points and standing alone in second place. Wolfsburg in particular remains a threat, and in the end it could well come down to goal differential—the first tiebreaker in the NextGen Series—to determine who advances, making Liverpool’s late two goals invaluable to their chances for advancement. But no matter what happens over the coming weeks, in the end it was good just to see the kids hit the back of the net a couple of times.

fixtures and tables via NextGen Series.

Kenny Dalglish is back at Goodison as Liverpool manager for the first time since the 4-4 FA Cup replay that precipitated his resignation in 1991, but connections to the past are scarce. Everton had plenty of forwards 20 years ago for a start, including a one-time British record-signing in Tony Cottee, while Liverpool were league champions. Now David Moyes must hope Tim Cahill overcomes injury and a goal-scoring drought against rivals who have dominated this fixture in the Premier League era, winning eight of their last 11 trips across Stanley Park. Andy Hunter

Venue Goodison Park

Tickets £35-£40 (0871 663 1878)

Last season Everton 2 Liverpool 0

Referee M Atkinson

This season’s matches 6 Y18, R3, 3.50 cards per game

Odds Everton 37-20 Liverpool 29-20 Draw 11-5

Everton

Subs from Saha, Barkley, Stracqualursi, Gueye, Mucha, Heitinga, Bilyaletdinov, Neville, Vellios, McAleny, Garbutt

Doubtful Cahill (shin)

Injured Anichebe, (groin, 29 Oct)

Suspended None

Form guide LWDWL

Disciplinary record Y11 R0

Leading scorer Jagielka, Baines, Osman, Drenthe, Vellios 1

Liverpool

Subs from Gerrard, Henderson, Rodríguez, Spearing, Wilson, Doni, Flanagan, Robinson, Coates, Bellamy, Aurélio Doubtful None

Injured Johnson, (hamstring, 15 Oct), Agger (ribs, 15 Oct)

Suspended None

Form guide WLLWWD

Disciplinary record Y14 R2

Leading scorer Suárez 3

Match pointers

• Everton have lost only one of their last 14 league matches at Goodison Park

• Liverpool have kept just one clean sheet in their last seven away matches in the Premier League

• There have been 19 red cards in this fixtures, more than in any other in Premier League history

• Dirk Kuyt has scored in his last three Merseyside derby appearances and five overall

• Tim Cahill has scored five goals in 11 games against the visitors from across Stanley Park

• ‘It’s something we’ve got to continue working on’
• Dalglish expects fiercely contested Merseyside derby

The Liverpool manager, Kenny Dalglish, has said there is still defensive work to do within the team after keeping only one clean sheet this season. So far the club’s only shut-out has come in the 2-0 win away at Arsenal, who were reduced to 10 men for a large part of the second half.

But although lapses at one end have been masked by goals at the other, Dalglish’s fifth-placed side currently have a goal difference of zero. That is worse than eighth-placed Aston Villa and Sunderland, in 14th.

The Liverpool defence can expect to be tested in the 216th Merseyside derby at Goodison Park on Saturday and while Dalglish is not overly concerned he accepts there is work to do. “I wouldn’t say we’re worried about it,” he said. “It’s something we’ve got to continue working on but if we keep scoring more goals than the opposition then fine.

“But it’s always nice to have your opposition with a nothing after their name, isn’t it? Last week against Wolves [a 2-1 win] we might have been under pressure a little bit and got a couple of tackles in around the box but for me we had by far the greater and most chances in the game.

“It looked more likely that we would have extended our lead than lost it. If you keep scoring goals, it makes it more difficult for the other team. If you want to get points, then it’s helpful not to lose any [goals] but I wouldn’t say we’ve got a problem with it.”

Injuries in defence have not helped the consistency of the team with right-backs Martin Kelly and Glen Johnson both missing matches while the centre-half Daniel Agger is just returning to training after breaking a rib at Tottenham a fortnight ago. Kelly is now fit again but neither Johnson nor Agger will be available on Saturday.

“I don’t think the changes in defence have affected it particularly,” said Dalglish, who returns to the ground where just over 20 years ago he quit as Liverpool’s manager after an epic 4-4 FA Cup draw with Everton. “Sometimes you go through phases where you don’t lose a goal for games.

“We don’t like losing goals but we understand in the division we are playing in there are a lot of good teams and good players who are likely to score a goal.”

Everton may be below their near-neighbours in the Premier League, having played one match fewer, and coming off a defeat at Manchester City but Dalglish knows that will make little difference.

“Moysie has done a fantastic job and we’ve got a great deal of respect for [the Everton manager] David Moyes and also for the football club,” he added. “They have done well and were unfortunate to have to go to Manchester City last week having played extra time on the previous Wednesday night, not having the benefit City had of making wholesale changes.

“They put on a very resilient performance even though they lost but last year they won 3-0 so we know they will be competitive and we have to match it. They will play to their strengths and we will play to our strengths.”

Blackpool complete the loan signing of Jonjo Shelvey from Liverpool.

Preview followed by live coverage of Saturday’s game between Everton and Liverpool in the Premier League.

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